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The High-Conflict Custody Battle: Protect Yourself and Your Kids from a Toxic Divorce, False Accusations, and Parental Alienation

Amy J. L. Baker PhD,

J. Michael Bone PhD &

Brian Ludmer BComm LLB

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By Best Interests of the Child Standards
​Each jurisdiction has its own list of factors for judges to consider when deciding on the best interests of the children.

Australia: Family Law Act 1975 How a Court Determines What is in a Child’s Best Interests

The factors that could be considered in the jurisdiction in which your case will be heard include the following:

• Each parent’s wishes
• The children’s wishes (with or without mention of specific age cutoff)
• Who the primary caretaker was prior to the divorce
• The quality of the children’s interactions with each parent
• The children’s  interactions  with  each  other  and  other family members
• The children’s  adjustment  to  the  home,  school,  and community
• Each parent’s compliance with the rights and responsibilities of parenting
• Any military care plan or fly-in-fly out plan
• Any intention of either parent to relocate
• Any involvement of the children by either parent in parental disputes

Documenting Your Case for Your Attorney

• The length of time the children have been in the home environment
• The permanence of the family unit
• Each parent’s mental and physical health
• Each parent’s capacity to love, nurture, guide, support, and educate the children
• The children’s cultural background
• Each parent’s ability to support and encourage the children’s relationship with the other parent (except in cases of domestic violence or child abuse)
• Any criminal history of either parent, either parent’s significant other, or other members of the household
• The children’s age, development, and temperament
• Any conflict between the parents
• Each parent’s work schedule
• Any failure by either parent to financially support  the children
• Each parent’s moral character
• The potential for each parent to engage in abuse
• The children’s physical, mental, religious, and social needs
• Any history of domestic violence or child abuse by either parent
• Any history of substance abuse by either parent
• Any intentional misleading of the courts or making of knowingly false allegations by either parent
• Continuity for the children
• The parents’ capacity to cooperate
• Any history of child abduction by either parent
• Any recommendation by a guardian ad litem (an attorney appointed by the court to represent your children’s interests) or custody evaluator
Your Ex Has Intentionally Misrepresented You to Professionals
For more details purchase: 
The High Conflict Custody Battle. Protect Yourself & Your Kids from a Toxic Divorce, False Accusations & Parental Alienation by Amy JL Baker PhD, J.Michael Bone, Brian Ludmer BComm, LLB

You Previously Had a Positive Relationship with Your Children

  • Here are examples of information you could share:
  • I took the children to school three days a week when their mother worked early (approximately seven years).
  • I picked the children up from school two days a week because their mother worked late on those days (approximately seven years).
  • I cooked at least two family dinners every week.
  • I oversaw the children’s guitar lessons (ages five to nine).
  • I did most of the food shopping for the family (at least seven years).
  • I put our children to bed approximately three nights a week, as we alternated nights (approximately seven years).

Telling the Story of Your Relationship with Your Children

Think about each of the following topics regarding your relationship with your children. You can jot down notes on a piece of paper (e.g., in a journal or notebook).

  • The ten most loving moments with your children
  • The most loving photographs of you and your children
  • The ten most meaningful and heartfelt cards or letters your children have ever sent you
  • The most significant milestones in your relationship with your children
  • The best vacations and family trips you have taken with your children
  • Ten things you have taught your children•
  • Ten things your children have taught you

There Has Been No Abuse or Neglect by You
For more details purchase: 
The High Conflict Custody Battle. Protect Yourself & Your Kids from a Toxic Divorce, False Accusations & Parental Alienation by Amy JL Baker PhD, J.Michael Bone, Brian Ludmer BComm, LLB​

Your Ex Has Engaged in Parental Alienation Behaviours

  • Bad-mouthing the other parent
  • Telling the children that the other parent does not love them
  • Creating the impression that the other parent is dangerous
  • Limiting contact with the other parent
  • Interfering with communication with the other parent
  • Interfering with symbolic communication with the other parent
  • Withholding love and approval
  • Allowing and/or forcing the children to choose between their parents
  • Confiding in the children
  • Forcing the children to reject the other parent
  • Asking the children to spy on the other parent
  • Asking the children to keep secrets from the other parent
  • Referring to the other parent by first name in front of the children
  • Referring to a stepparent as “Mom” or “Dad”
  • Withholding medical, social, or academic information from the other parent
  • Changing the children’s name to remove the other parent’s association
  • Undermining the other parent’s authority

The Children Exhibit Alienation Behaviours

  • A campaign of denigration
  • The High-Conflict Custody Battle
  • Weak, frivolous, and absurd reasons for the denigration
  • A lack of ambivalence toward both parents. One parent all good, other parent all bad.
  • The “independent thinker” phenomenon
  • A lack of guilt regarding poor treatment of the rejected parent
  • Reflexive support for the favored parent. Siding with ex no matter how absurd, illogical or inconsistent their position is. Unwilling to consider targeted parents point of view.
  • Use of “borrowed scenarios”
  • Animosity toward the rejected parent’s friends and family


Amy JL Baker PhD, J.Michael Bone, Brian Ludmer BComm, LLB

BOOK: The High Conflict Custody Battle. Protect Yourself & Your Kids from a Toxic Divorce, False Accusations & Parental Alienation