HELP FOR YOUNG PEOPLE

If you do, are any of these things happening to you?

  • One parent gets annoyed or angry when I pay attention to my other parent
  • One parent has asked me to keep secrets from my other parent
  • One parent asks me a lot of questions about the time I spend with my other parent
  • One parent says nasty things, gets upset or shows not interest when I tell them I’ve had a good time with my other parent
  • One parent stops me from talking to my other parent
  • One parent tells me things about my other parent that I don’t want to know
  • One parent has told me that my other parent doesn’t really love me
  • One parent looks sad, angry, or hurt when I leave to be with my other parent
  • One parent has asked me to spy on my other parent
  • One parent says mean and untrue things about my other parent
  • One parent lets me choose whether I want to spend time with my other parent, but I always feel like I have to choose not to see them
  • One parent doesn't want me to have photos of my other parent
  • One parent wants me to call my other parent by their name, not mum or dad
  • One parent tells me I don’t have to do what my other parent says
  • One parent has told me that my other parent is dangerous, but they weren’t dangerous before my parents split up
  • One parent doesn't like my other parent knowing how I’m going at school
  • One parent has made me call my step-parent mum or dad

Inspired by Dr Amy JL Baker's workbook "I Don't Want to Choose"

and the work of Dr Mandy Matthewson.

Everyone knows that divorce is tough, especially on children. Your parents have made a really big decision not to live together anymore and you may not want this.

Sometimes when parents decide not to live together any more, children can get caught up in taking sides. 
Children can also feel pressured by one parent to take a side. When this happens children can feel like they have to think and feel the way that parent does, even if doing this doesn’t feel right.

Sometimes when parents feel so hurt by the other parent, they say hurtful things about them.

But it doesn’t mean these hurtful things are true.

Does this sound like you?

Ask yourself these Questions


Here is how I can  Support Myself

Here are things you can do:

If these things are happening to you, stop and think for yourself….

Do I feel like I have to choose between my parents?